A little bit of a LOT...I'm back (again)

Photo by: Joulmi

To Whom It May Concern:

Ok, Ok!! I know I did it again and left you S.T.A.M.P.S. waiting way too long for a letter. But trust me I have a semi-good excuse! Last month I turned 3-0! Yes the big 30. Since this birthday was such a big deal you know I had to do it BIG. I planned two parties (the Gemini in me) and created a campaign affectionately titled “30 days of 30” where I celebrated my birthday every day in June with my fabulous friends! Between planning both parties, preparing myself mentally for this new chapter in my life and keeping up with my deadlines at Clutch magazine my world has been hectic. But nonetheless, I’m back to normal now and ready to give you more of the new me. For starters, I must apologize for leaving you high and dry on the commentary of Steve Harvey’s book. If it makes you feel any better I didn’t even finish it because of all the festivities I had going on. I’m planning to re-visit it soon but at the moment I’m engrossed in the new book deliciously titled Appetite by fab author and dear friend of mine Erika J. Kendrick (Thanks for the advanced copy E). It’s definitely the perfect summer read. I’ve got so many topics to share and things to catch you all up on so stay tuned (and subscribe). To Whom It May Concern is back and better than ever!


P.S. Write me back below.

Fabulously yours,

Rashana Hooks

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man – Part 1

To Whom It May Concern:

Last week I decided to purchase Steve Harvey’s highly acclaimed book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man (shout out to the fab co-author Denene Millner). Despite the rave reviews from Oprah to Essence and how much I love Steve I wasn’t going to buy the book simply because I felt like I knew everything about men. I’ve dealt with the best of them and as a self-proclaimed “realistic relationship expert” I was positive his advice just reiterated what I tell my girlfriends and all the other countless women who listen to me and read my articles. My cousin, who had purchased the book when it first hit the book shelves agreed with me but simply said “it just sounds better coming from a man”. So needless to say I got over my high horse and curiosity killed the cat.

So far I’ve read the first three chapters and it’s good! And although what I read so far comes to me as no surprise, Steve really does lay the facts women need to know in a way no woman could have. He gives it straight with no chaser just the way I like it!
However, I’ve decided to season Steve’s momentum with some of my spices and share with you ladies my personal commentary on the book as I read it. I know you like to hear the truth from a man but you also need to hear it further from a woman who acts like a lady and thinks like a man…..


P.S. If you have not bought the book, I suggest you do so. Not only to participate and comment, but because it is really good!

Fabulously yours,

Rashana Hooks

How do you lose control?

To Whom It May Concern:

Lately the word “control” and the act of it, has been my worst enemy and best friend. Its dual role in my life has left me confused and struggling with when to turn it off and when to turn it on. Case in point, my mentors, sponsors and biggest supporters at work have been congratulating me on how well I’ve taken “control” of my career all the while urging me to continue to take control as a climb the infamous corporate ladder. While at the same time, the love of my life affectionately yet seriously tells me to stop trying to “control” everything and let him lead at times. I never thought I would have to balance control, heck I’m just really learning how to be in it. How do I streamline my “control” when I’m praised for it in one world and criticized for it in another? This power struggle has left me wondering, how do I lose control?

Well T.D. Jakes answered it best for me in the June issue of Essence Magazine. He simply said “Let go and Let God” reminding me who really is in “control” of my life. He further explained that control itself can be an illusion and the need to have it is an act of fear. Fear of being disappointed and the fear of letting go. Although I must admit being in control gives me a sense of power and the comfort of knowing things will go my way (both feelings I enjoy), he was right, my control was about fear, the fear of not meeting my own expectations.

As a woman with high expectations of her self, the one thing I feared was failure. So prior to reading T.D. Jakes’ words of wisdom, losing control used to mean losing myself.
I believed not being in control meant I was setting myself up for dissapointment and ultimately failure. I now know that I don’t always have to be in control to get the results I want. And more importantly losing control is not about losing at all, it’s about gaining - trust, faith and the power to let go.


P.S. Write me back below.

Fabulously yours,

Rashana Hooks

Goal Digging

To Whom It May Concern:

For the past two weeks I’ve been putting my body through this rigorous boot camp which entails going to bed between 10pm-11pm and waking up at 5am. The reason is I’m super busy (in addition to freelance writing I work full time in sales & marketing for a major television network) and I seem to never have time in the day to do all things I would like, such as writing the chapters of my book (I will tell you more about that when I can – smile) and just writing period. Working full-time and being a freelance writer is tough and only writing on my weekends wasn’t cutting it anymore. Therefore, I had to figure out a way to incorporate extra time into my work week to make my dreams a reality.

It is extremely hard to balance a full time job, relationship, popular social calendar and your personal goals. However, it can be done, but only with discipline and a clear objective of what you want. How do I know this? Because my 5am weekly wake-up’s taught me so. You see, I’m a morning person but not that early in the morning. Even though I’m most productive in the AM, it doesn’t occur until five hours later around 9am. So needless to say waking up a 5am was rough, the first week was the hardest. I would get up and begin writing and feel like my eyes were going to catch on fire from the burning. And by 3pm I was crashing big time. I was cranky, fatigue and extremely tired. Nonetheless, I survived the first week, tired yet proud of myself I accomplished a step toward my goal.

But it was the second week of my boot camp that taught me a lesson about achieving your goals. Surprisingly, by this time it wasn’t so bad hearing my alarm clock go off at 5am. My body had begun to adjust to my new schedule and I effortlessly was able to get out of bed and head to the computer. I didn’t even feel like I was crashing in the middle of the day anymore. That week taught me that if you set a goal to achieve something you really want you have to prepared and willing to endure all what it takes to reach it. It will only be your determination and passion to reach your goal that will get you through the challenges. Yet, when you overcome the obstacles (in my case the boot camp) achieving the end result gets a bit easier.

If you have a goal, dream or passion you want to pursue but find yourself saying you don’t have time, make time! Even by finding just an hour in your day can make a world of a difference in reaching your goals. Many have told me this in the past but it took me until now to really understand it and live by it. So I’m paying it forward and telling you the same.

Fabulously yours,

Rashana Hooks

Wash, Set & Go!

To Whom It May Concern:

No matter how stressed or overwhelmed I feel from work and life, when I get my hair washed each week at the salon it seems like all my problems are washed away right along with it. It’s so therapeutic to sit under a sink of warm water and receive three intense yet soothing massages to my scalp all the while ridding my tresses of accumulated dirt. The wash always leaves me feeling invigorated, refreshed and ready to tackle any task that needs be done. Ironically, it does the same for my hair. When I walk out of the salon my hair is always fabulous allowing it to receive compliments and handle any style or look given. No matter how much stress is placed upon it, it always seems to “act right” and look its best.

I guess I finally figured out that since my daily schedule is so hectic, getting my hair done is the only task that allows me to be still for 45 minutes. Sitting under the dryer for almost an hour prevents me from talking to anyone on the phone or near me. It closes me in from the outside world so I can think clearly, focus, meditate and indulge is some me time. When the dryer stops and I head to the chair for styling my energy is renewed and a new me emerges. Who knew the process of beauty was so good for the soul? I guess that’s why they say looking and feeling your best brings the best out of you. If you really think about it, when we look our best our performance improves and our overall confidence is high. These are the factors that result in success, and as fellow S.T.A.M.P.S. I know being successful is your mantra so I deem this a justifiable reason to treat yourself to a beauty regimen whenever you can. Give yourself the chance to be your best and look good while you’re at!

Wash, Set and Go!


P.S. Share your thoughts, write me back below.

Fabulously yours,

Rashana Hooks

The Fabulous Life

To Whom It May Concern:

As a born and bred New Yorker I’m ashamed to say that I’ve never explored the floors above the first at Saks Fifth Avenue. My visits are always specific – makeup, perfume, handbags or a trip to Gucci and LV. I didn’t even know they had 10 floors!!! Well that all changed this evening when I was invited to an event there that consisted of wine, the best brie cheese I’ve tasted thus far and my very own personal shopper. Since it was an evening event and the store was closed to the public I had the opportunity to really soak in all the fabulousness each designer had to offer. From the whole spring collection of Christian Louboutin to the new edition of Marc Jacobs and Tory Burch bags.

As I perused through the racks of designers that I only had the chance to admire from the pages in Vogue magazine, I was reminded that the good life is worth the hard work it takes to obtain it. As a lover of all things fashion, it’s important that I can comfortably afford my affinity whenever I please. Seeing my love at its best was the fuel that re-ignited my fire to continue to work hard even when I feel like giving up. It reminded me that doing the things that I enjoy is what life is all about.

Whatever brings you joy and happiness are the things you should constantly strive to obtain. Let your happiness be your motivator so you can create a life that awards you access to it at any time. Don’t be ashamed if making a large amount of money will grant you the key to those doors and don’t apologize for it once you’re able to open them.

Living a fabulous life is all about being your authentic self. So start living and be the fabulous woman that you are!!

Fabulously yours,

Rashana Hooks

Fact not Fiction

Photo by: Flicker

To Whom It May Concern:

All too often I see us women make decisions dictated by our emotions rather than the fact of the matter when it comes to men and relationships. We tend to see and believe what we want or hope for instead of what reality has already revealed. For unfortunate reasons, we allow our fantasy of we want him to be cloud our vision of who he really is. The usual outcome is pain, bitterness, frustration, depression and overall unhappiness solely on us. Some of us even have the nerve to play the victim role as if we had no idea this could possibly happen to us. We take no responsibility on the role we played in our demise. We ignore the fact that we willing decided to pretend his cheating on his girlfriend/wife can never overflow to us, that his lies to her will be truths to us and that we were actually that special for him to treat us any different.

Following your heart does not mean stop being smart. Be honest with yourself and trust your instincts. Remind yourself that you are worthy of living your best life drama free.

We must begin to accept the reality of things so we can live better lives. Maya Angelou said it best…“When people show you who they are, believe them”. Let’s not allow fiction to disappoint us again, believe the facts.

P.S. Write me back below.

Fabulously yours,

Rashana Hooks